I plan on drinking to much to kill the awkwardness of the situation
CONTENT: This is the diary of a young adult male. I read most of the entries, but couldn�t do the whole thing. A lot of the entries are in Weblog style so instead of directly linking pages, I will quote him.
I will start with the bad. The bad is that you lack constant substance in your story. You talk primarily about sex and how sex matter to you and how orgasms effect you. Example:
�Naturally I had a really difficult time going to sleep bacause though I was tired I was still a little horny since I didn't cum. I lost my erection a little because the pumping away I did when I got her to cum. It probably wouldn't have taken much to bring my cock back to life though.�
This does not come off well in your diary. You come off as being conceited and arrogant at times, but then suddenly insecure and weak. I feel like it�s a big show. You say things like this:
Anyhow, I don't know what's up with women nowadays. I'm going to make it a point, at least for now, to stop trying to figure them out. Sometimes I'm not even sure if they know what they want themselves. Oh well...
Yeah, what�s up with women. I�m a guy and I am offended. That was an entire entry.
I always include the good too. The good is that in some entries you do seem to break through a little, in your own way. This diary needs to have more honest moment like this one:
Something happened this evening that made my world a little less lonely. I discovered that my younger sister has been reading my journal. In a way I'm glad someone so close to me has had access to my innermost thoughts. Well OK I may be a little embarassed because now my sister knows how much of a horndog I am.
If you can find more honesty and a voice that seems less put on then your diary has a chance. Maybe this is really you and these are the things you care about, but I just found them mostly offensive, fake, and at times almost like a defense mechanism. I think at your age that you should take your feelings more seriously and look beyond sex.
Content Score: 7/40
LAYOUT You have an awesome layout, one that I am jealous of. Tons of extras; easy navigation. Your design is great. The design page is fantastic. You really nailed your design, and I feel it even reflects the content. I would say that your ability to design is not incredulous in the least. You should look into doing designs for others. This diary is worth looking at for that alone. I love the picture section as well.
Layout Score:20/20
EMOTIONS Look. You best entry is 100 things. You are honest, emotional and clear in this section. I even feel that you talk about sex in a nice way, a non-offensive way. If you can write like this, then you really can improve the whole diary.
But normally I saw entries like this one:
if a vehicle travels north at 68 mph and another vehicle is travelling south on the same road on the opposite lane at 69 mph and there is a wind coming from the northeast at 14 mph, how long will it take until i have sex? why are you looking at me like that? ok i admit it, i'm f****g horny! is that a crime? if it is just f*****g arrest me. be sure to use handcuffs... ;)
If this is what you want people to know about you then that�s fine, but I don�t think this is who you really are. I think there is more depth and width to you. You quote diaries you like in your diary, so I have to think that you connect with these writers. Are quotes above really what you wanting people to think about you? Is this what they should read to know things about you?
Emotions Score: 3/20
EXTRAS: You have a lot. I appreciate that. They all work too for an added bonus. This is a good feature. I like everything around the content.
Extras Score: 8/10
LINK: Yep, the link is there, and it works fine.
Link Score: 5/5
CONTACT: Everything but the Guestmap. Need one of those for full points.
Contact Score: 4/5
TOTAL SCORE: Re-evaluate what you want to display to people. It�s okay to have a few entries about sex. I just feel like you think that�s what people want to read about. Who are you? Who are these people in your life? I read almost all of the entries, and I was still at a loss at the end at what you were trying to display.
47/100
Reviewed by Gumphood