HOLLLLLA.
CONTENT: This is the diary of a thirteen year old girl. I read your entire diary. She is funny, sensitive, nice, boring, exciting, playful, mean, bratty, caring, loyal, and many other things. These emotions make a diary interesting and I found this diary of Maria to be an interesting read.
The bad: There are some parts of you diary I didn�t like. �Hey Homefires� comes to mind. This is your problem. You are a younger writer so just by definition not only do you have less to draw on for writing, but you haven�t been schooled in creative writing. This is not your fault. I won�t take points away for that fact. That being said I greatly respect your ability to write. I thought that you were writing on a high school level. I would have guessed that you were 16 or 17. I read this and this entry. I found that it was almost exactly like the entry before it. More detailed but I think that were I an everyday reader, I would be bored by two entries that were almost exactly alike. The next entry you complained about the diary servers and then stated what you were going to write about. Why? Just write about it. You didn�t need an entry to talk about what you are going to do.
Another entry that I found to be problematic was this. The problem here is that the entry is very disjointed. You being with a section that recaps your every move for the day. I think this is poor writing. No one really cares about a jog, or brushing your teeth. They read these things for your thoughts on things and activities and emotions. Its one thing to say, I was brushing my teeth, when I found that I had lettuce in there from two weeks ago (gross), but you just made a statement: I went for a jog. The second part involved your actions in church. I found this really interesting and well written. It was very nice. Very entertaining. Then you finished it with what I thought were song lyrics, which I did not like. I think that quoting songs is one of the worst things you can do in a diary, for the most part, because it�s very unoriginal. You only did it here from what I can see, but it soured the entry for me.
The good: The Bad section was very hard on you, but I think that you need some constructive criticism. The other reviews you got weren�t specific enough and just kinda of mean at parts. I hope that it helped. I will also praise you for the good writing you did. Right off the bat, your 100 things was very good and interesting.
You have some really interesting things to write about. I really like you views on God and Sex like in this entry here. That kinda of entry is very interesting to me and I am imagining other people as well. It was great. Your viewpoints are welcome and appreciated. I hope that you tell me more about your world from your perspective. That�s what really interests me. Also, you are young attractive girl I am imagining. Write about boys. Girls write the best things in this subject. I mean check out this entry which was kinda of sad, but at the same time very good. I think that you put a lot of effort and time into writing this and it paid off. Your style is also very grabbing. You say funny things and write in a humorous way. Keep that up. Also the penguin joke had my cracking up. The extra wave joke was pushing it.
You diary was fun and girly which I liked. It was very true to yourself and I think that you should keep it up. I think to have a really great diary you need to put in more effort in the department of making sure that the day to day entry is worth having. When you write about something that means something to you I think your diary entry is a lot better. When you are just writing to recap your day, I found the entry boring. Content Score: 32/40
LAYOUT Holy Pink background Batman. I was shocked at the pink and purple. I don�t think that it�s for me. However it is for you and it fits you perfectly. Man I just was shocked at the level of pinkness. I am glad that you like it. However I don�t like the song quote at the top from sorority life.
The navigation was pretty good. I liked it a lot. Everything separated and organized. I liked it, and I give you props for the nice navigation.
Layout Score:18/20
EMOTIONS In this entry here you talk about jealousy. I liked it a lot and it shows a good dynamic between you and your sibling. Its entries like these that give you diary depth and dimension. I really appreciated this entry.
You write some entries with a lot of emotion and it comes across very well, but others vacant of any emotion. Another good entry was here where you flipped out and got very upset and emotional over your situation with your father. I really think that entries like these are what will keep people dropping notes and coming back for more. Your diary is emotional, but its those entries that are �throw away� that bring down your score in this section.
Emotions Score: 16/20
EXTRAS: You had a lot. I really liked that you took the layout and link to the lyrics to show that you liked the artist, not just the design. I do that too, but in a different way. I really think you did well here. Tons and Tons of things to do at your diary. Extras Score: 9/10
LINK: Yep, the link is there, and it works fine.
Link Score: 5/5
CONTACT: The standard arrangement, but no guestmap : (
Contact Score: 4/5
TOTAL SCORE: I think that the previous reviews may have been giving you �age� points. I think that you can grow beyond that and have a great diary, period; Not just a great diary for a 13 year old. Your ability to express yourself and the things you see is your �bread and butter�. If you stick with that then you will really draw people in and keep them hooked. I enjoyed the diary, and I hope you like your review.
84/100
Reviewed by Gumphood
Extra:
Favorite Entry: This I thought it was the best one, and more to come like it I hope.
Favorite Quote: I think that this shows you as a growing girl and its something I will never go through and that�s something that interests me. I know its simple but its very sweetly stated. Maybe its silly, but I liked it.
I remember I was so nervous for some reason, I got ready 2 HOURS EARLY, but I loved it.
Comments: You can join the silver ring for sweet reviews. Please contact me directly with any questions or comments. I welcome them and I really hope that you ask me anything you want. Thank you very much. Also let me know when you put up my review and comment so I can check it out. Thanks again for letting me read your diary Maria.