CONTENT: This is the diary of a 13 year old girl. If you are expecting quantum math or postmodern irony, you are going to be disappointed. That being said the diary is very new and has a lot of potential. I read the whole thing. I found a few entries this and this that I thought were really good. The weather entry was very emotional and the pancake entry made me very happy. That was a short entry that had depth. It made me feel like I was with you. Some of your entries were not as grabbing. Entries like this and like this are hurting your diary. You might like them yourselves, but they are very broad, and leave the reader wanted more. Not in a good way either. The tidbits section has hope, and you can improve it, but we need more of you in that section. I really liked some of your entries and I think that you write well. You diary is only a few weeks old. I would recommend waiting longer before getting it reviewed. Once you find a constant voice for your writing it will improve tenfold. Content Score: 28/40 LAYOUTI have to give you a lot of credit for designing you own template at age 13, using PSP 7. I mean that takes guts and brains. That being said. Work on it. Improve it. Some things need titles. I feel like you have mashed everything together. Make thing clearer for me. I clicked on your �guestbook� and got the signmyguestbook site. Then I found the other. That shouldn�t happen. Your template is a diamond in the rough. You have the design talent, now you just have to spend some time refining. I think it will be good. Layout Score: 13/20 EMOTIONS I want to see This from you. This was my favorite entry. Even when you yelled at your friends about picking on you for a bad review, I liked it. Listen, some entries are �I saw the matrix, I got this, and I did that. That�s note your best work. I liked when you were describing how getting grades made you feel, and when you were angry or sad. That�s you best stuff. Its in there but I want more. Emotions Score: 14/20 EXTRAS: You have some of your friends, and a website that I don�t understand. Show me what you like and put it up there. You have a profile like page, a cast, and a review page. These are all good. Extras Score: 6/10 LINK: Yep, the link is there, and it works fine. Link Score: 5/5 CONTACT: notes, email, guestbook. Get a guestmap. Those are great. Contact Score: 4/5 TOTAL SCORE: 70/100 Keep writing and get more entries over time. I like the story about the F and if you are or aren�t gonna tell your parents. Keep it going. Work on your template and make things look better and more organized. This diary will be up to a 90 in no time .
Extra:
Favorite Entry: This one. You got me on this one. I made me happy.
Favorite Quote: From a different entry...
That fucking son of a bitch program, can kiss my ass..
Comments:I enjoyed reading. Keep it up, and contact me if you have any questions!
Reviewed by Gumphood