fear falls like rain
Content: You write well; it's neat and organized. You even have the "***" to separate thoughts. Very clever. You wrote about random stuff here which took away from the monotone.
This was a real cliffhanger. I liked it a lot, it has a lot of action to it. Of course every day can't be like that, so if I were you I'd find other ways to spice up your diary. You can't just rely on those occasional dramatic conversations.
However, you never followed up :(.
A lot of your entries have songs at the bottom, but no source. When the source is not named, people will assume either 1) it's yours 2) you're claiming that it's yours. So, either way is bad. You should probably should give the writer credit.
This made me wanna throw up. How could you defend him and put yourself down after he acted so childish? He hit you, end of story. It doesn't matter what kind of memories it brought back, he shouldn't have hit you. You shouldn't beat yourself up just to defend him. However, lol, it was a good entry because it made me so mad. Keep it in there.
This is very real. I'm glad you decided to do that. However, you don't have 20 entries after that that I could review. Maybe you could get a re-review later.
This was pretty funny. I don't know what to think of it, but it's a start in changing. Oh, and this contradicts your asking for a review, however I'm sure everyone has one of those entries.
Your diary was sort of cluttered with "boring stuff." That stuff being the entries about our mystery man. I realize that you can't give any details, but if you can't give details, spend more time talking about something else.
Content Score: 28/40
Layout: The first thing I noticed about your layout was that the chick's fondling herself? hmm, I dunno, about you but I don't fondle myself like that in the shower... lol that's quite weird. I felt as though I was intruding the entire time I was at your diary.
The second thing I noticed is that the words on the picture are from one of my favorite songs. You seem to be the queen of copyright violations. "Take Me As I Am" by Tonic. You might want to give the band some credit now that you know that.
As I sifted through your entries it quickly became apparent that you only have previous and next buttons on a few of the most recent entries, and by few I mean, few. I'm definitely not a big fan of going back to your archives page just to get the next entry. It's a ton of work, and remember, readers don't like work. In order to make your new addition show up on the older entries, go to "edit/delete entries" and edit each one of them. You don't have to change anything, just open them, and click "make changes." Yes, you have to do this to each one of them... and it is a chore.
Now, that said, I would get a different layout. Just because 1) the chick is very intimidating lol, it's like watching someone shower. I couldn't stare at it for long. 2) you'll have to give credit to Tonic for the lyrics, and you really don't have room for that. 3) it makes me feel claustrophobic, because there's no room to grow. As your writing grows, and your number of entries grows, so should your layout. It should include links to new things.
Layout Score: 12/20
Emotions: It's not that you don't express your emotions well, it's that you don't even try to begin with. Every entry was "I like this guy, but I'm not supposed to." Don't you feel anything else? Do you feel anything for your boyfriend at all? Tell us about how you feel about other things. You did tell us about School a bit, but those are oh-so-rare entries. Honestly, I really got sick of hearing "I'm not supposed to like him, but I do" all the time. It made your entries really really boring because 1) you never elaborated and 2) it gives a whole new meaning to the word repetitive. You really could have just tossed all of your entries together and I would think it was one day. There are no distinct emotions between days.
This explains a little bit. However, what's the point in having a diary if you can't put your feelings in it?!
Emotions Score: 5/20
Extras: Rings, Reviews, Dream Journal, Cast... I need more. Maybe a quizzes page, or how about an about me page?
Extras Score: 8/10
Link: Yep, it's there and it works, on the newer entries.
Link Score: 5/5
Contact: email, guestbook, guestmap, notes, normally I give a 4 for 4 methods, but you have a guestmap, which is rare.
Contact Score: 5/5
Total: 63/100
Extra:
Favorite Entry: This one. Everyone's been there.
Favorite Quote: didn't have one
Comments: Try writing about something other than the mystery man, it'll make things more interesting. You have such a great writing style, I'd hate to see it wasted. Clean things up and then apply for a re-review, I'm looking forward to seeing what you can really do when you put yourself on paper.
Reviewed By:: Judith