twelve.one // chosen family
Content: Well, it seems that you've got the web-log style diary where you put all your entries for one day on one page, and it's good that your previous and next links are labeled "yesterday" and "tomorrow". However, since your individual entries are long, it might be wise to simply give them their own page and not stuff them in with other entries on the same page. It didn't really bother me that your pages were so long, but I'm letting you know that it would be more organized/appealing if each entry had its own page. And plus, it would give more attention to each entry rather than each page.
This entry showed a lot of your inner feelings and I found it interesting to read.
Although I really couldn't see the connection with why you're the "biggest hipocrite on the face of the earth", I really liked the part in this entry where you go into a whole schpeal about what was going through your mind as you were looking at the sky. I could relate to that feeling of having so many mind-boggling thoughts rushing through the brain at one moment. It also helped to understand so much more about what goes through your mind, therefore it helped me understand you more easily. This is getting a bit off-subject here, but I've read that if you take a couple minutes of your day and do nothing but worry worry worry, let all the worry and confused and questioned thoughts all swish around in your mind at once (and then you can't let those thoughts bother you for the rest of the day), it helps to ease those worries and find answers and solutions later on. Just thought I'd share.
I saw your drawing of Somber and I think it's very good; if you haven't already, I'd recommend becoming more extensive in the art field, it seems you have a talent for it.
In every other page in your diary (so it seemed), you have a "disclaimer has been updated, please read it before reading anything more in here" caption. It's nice that you have a disclaimer to "protect" yourself and your writing and to lay out the rules for your readers, but if you update it as much as it says you do, I'd suggest locking your diary or getting a new one, because it's obvious that people you know and love have taken advantage of your trust and writing.
This is a good entry where you let out all the things about love and life that you have questions about. Very often I have wondered the same things, as I'm sure many other people have, so it's nice to have those kinds of entries that everyone can relate to. Keep that up.
Baha! I had to read this entry twice to make sure I was reading it right. I'm in that situation, too, with the online thing. Confusing, isn't it? But hey, follow your heart with it; it won't lie.
I enjoyed reading your diary for the most part. Some parts were boring because I don't know your friends and I was somewhat lost when you would talk about them. However, you balanced everything out with the deep entries and those are what kept me interested. I've noticed that you do sometimes have typos and grammar mistakes, try proofreading your entries.
You don't really have a unique or captivating writing style, but neither does the majority of people. If you started a diary that none of your friends/family knew of, I think you could let out even more of the stuff that kept me reading, and through that you might just develop a style that's more on the literature side, and not just another teenaged girl writing in her diary. If that makes sense. (32/40)
Layout: You made your layout, which gives extra points, but way, way, way too much blue. Everything in your diary is some shade of blue, even the pictures, and while blue's a nice color and all, it really swamps your diary and is annoying to the eyes. If you simply change your font color and your link colors, it would be so much more appealing.
The picture goes with the quote, links work, archive page organized. It's just that overly blueness that needs fixin'. (15/20)
Emotions: Lots. (20/20)
Extras: Disclaimer, a bio page with lots of links to choose from (great idea!), cast, poetry, rings, soundtrack, wish list, reviews, friends' diaries, a nice variety of things to keep a reader busy (10/10)
Link: Yup yup (5/5)
Contact: email, notes, guestbook, guestmap, tagboard, aim, wow you have it all! (6/5)
TOTAL SCORE: 88/100
Fave Entry: This entry was funny in the part about the N64 games.
Fave Quote: Don't have one.
Comments: You have a good diary here, just keep up the varied vocabulary, work on grammar/spelling, and maybe try saying things in different, more thought-provoking ways. You have the potential, so don't let it slip. Endless creativity is the key to good writing.
You are eligible to apply for the SweetSilver diaryring at SweetReviews! :)
Reviewed by Linda