CONTENT: This is the diary of a 16 year old girl. I read most of the diary upon her request. This was the first time I was requested as a reviewer, and I just want to make a note of appreciation here. This was a large diary with two different templates and really grew. The style is that of mostly reflection and day to day logging of events that occur in this girls life.
The Bad: The entries were overall good. At no point was I bored or felt the diary was dragging. Well that�s not true. The beginning was kinda of rough, but I am not sure what she was going for in there. It settled down and found a smart and intelligent voice. I guess what made this diary bad is that nothing Wowed me. This isn�t a crime, but when I was trying to find a �best entry� I couldn�t; nothing stood out. I had a hard time trying to define what this diary was about. For my bad entry selection I choose this one. Not that it was bad, but it was an entry about boredom that I found kinda boring.
The Good: The diary. The diary was good. It really was. Over all the entries it kept a good pace and good voice. Towards the end you even started becoming insightful that was a really good treat. That�s why I selected this entry, as your best. I think it summed up a lot about you and also really was insightful. Most will find this a pleasure to read. I was very entertained. Almost every entry was worth the time I took to read it. That�s a really good quality to have as a writer, because mostly people just skim.
What to avoid and improve: You need a Cast Page. Flat out. If you talk about people, then you should introduce them. Now take a look at these two entries here and here where in one you talked about a movie, but not really how the movie made you feel. Then in the next one I was really was liking it (I mean it was good and insightful), but then you just added this kinda random song lyric. Listen, you are a good poet for the most part. This is your diary; rely on the words of yourself and not others. Those two things are things that you can avoid.
This diary is good. There are some content things that could be change to improve it but lets face it, everyone makes mistakes. I think that this diary is a worthy read and that most people will be really entertained by her life. I was. Though it took me a long time to get through due to the depth and length of some of the entries. Good Job. Content Score: 35/40
LAYOUT: I am going to disregard the first one since its gone. But what I will say is the style is great. I will give you 10/10 for the look the style and how it reflects to you. Great job.
The navigation though I found frustrating. There was a lot of trying to get around difficulties cause everything was mashed together at the bottom of the entry that I had to scroll to get to. Everything was there, but it was hard to sort through and I generally wasn�t pleased with the navigation. Also the font on the black background, though it looked good, hurt my eyes somewhat.
Layout Score:15/20
EMOTIONS: This was a good section for you. You, towards the middle and end of the diary were able to express you emotions very well. Take this entry which was one of many entries where you were able to express things very well and emotions very clearly. I thought you did a great job here. I could list off several others that I thought you described very well between fights you had, emotions you felt, and conflicts you were able to resolve. Keep writing that way and I think that you will keep a large audience. Emotions Score: 19/20
EXTRAS: A good number. One off site. You throw lots of pictures randomly throughout and I like that. You could stand to add a few more that aren�t diary land though; you know things you liked, but I a user won�t get tired of your link section. Extras Score: 7/10
LINK: Yep, the link is there, and it works fine
Link Score: 5/5
CONTACT: notes, email, tagboard, guestbook, guestmap. Bingo. You hit the Gump jackpot. .
Contact Score: 5/5
TOTAL SCORE: I liked this diary, but to the reader make sure you check the cast page first. Its important to make sure you know the people she is talking about, because she talks very freely about them and to them. It�s a good read and she has an interesting life. I would have liked to see more insight and emotion, but it�s a good read nonetheless. 86/100.
Extra:
Favorite Entry: Great Entry Best, no; but I liked it a lot. Beautiful
Favorite Quote: " two glasses at a restaurant, sitting on the table cloth. one of those really big glasses, filled with water, and a smaller one, empty. she said, 'tell me, when enough is enough' and started to pour water into the smaller glass. he didn't say anything, and the water kept getting higher and higher, brimmed the cup, and finally spilled over, soaking the table cloth and spreading outwards. � I liked this entry about Greg and this situation. The entry was eloquent. Your writing just got better and better.
Comments: I think you are on the Silver Ring, you better check the rules to find out. I forget, and I figure if you want to join the ring you can look it up hehe. Also I will get to your poetry, but it doesn�t have much to do with this diary. Email me to get my comments on that. Actually email me with anything you want.
Reviewed by Gumphood