CONTENT: This is the diary of a 19 year old girl in college. I read the last sixty entries through June, May and April. My first reaction was that this was going to be a really great diary. I wasn�t wrong, but unfortunately I wasn�t right either. This diary had moments of unpleasant entries, moments of splendor, but mostly moments of mediocrity.
The Bad: Sometimes short entries about how you don�t want to write, or small movie reviews. These don�t get you high marks, but I can understand them, and at times overlook them. But in an entry like this one here where you talk about who knows what in a long, long paragraph. There was no break. I try to be fair, and I read it twice, but it just wasn�t a readable entry. Try to avoid these long, long (did I say long) paragraphs because you do them a lot, and it really takes away from the content.
The Good: However the whole thing isn�t like this. You do keep my attention through quite a bit of it, and occasionally showcase some real talent. I really liked this entry, where you talk very sweetly about Jason, but also play it together with a dream you had. I was very entertained.
The Ugly: Now what hurts me more than just a small or bad entry is an entry that was going well, and then was ruined. You throw a lot of names of friends in here, which alienates the reader somewhat. Your cast page needs to be cleaned up a little. It was hard to read, and so when you began talking about these folks in your life, I was lost. Now take a look at the entry here where I really was liking it, but then I just lost interest when you kinda talked in spurts about people. We all do it, but think that you did it too much.
I guess my criticism was a bit hard, because I really did enjoy the majority of the diary. Its just that these kinda of diaries upset me because you really have a lot to say but I feel like the style of writing and entries hold back a lot of your voice. I liked it. I did. I didn�t read that whole thing but at parts I found it a page turner. I think you write about Jason really well and that�s something you should focus on; if you are concerned about the reader. Also I think that if I knew you I would really like your diary because I would know so much more about things you refer to Content Score: 30/40
LAYOUT: You layout was very simple. Fairly easy to navigate, but it just didn�t fit. It didn�t seem you. I don�t know. I didn�t really understand how the picture related or the colors. I liked your website on tripod more, cause I felt it fit better. There was nothing wrong with it, I guess just not my style, and I felt not really yours either.
Layout Score:16/20
EMOTIONS: My favorite entry was the one where you confronted your parents about the Jason issue. I really felt like you missed him a lot and even after setting up your budget you still were willing to sacrifice to see him. It was very courageous and emotional. The type of entry I would love to see more of. I just felt like you lacked a lot of emotion in some entries and really could stand to put more into your words. Nonetheless you did sometimes, but held back on the reader. You could really step forward as a writer with throwing more into your words. I even found your 100 things to be a little dry of emotions. This made me sad, because I wanted to know you at the end, but was hoping for emotional facts. Emotions Score: 14/20
EXTRAS: Lots. I really think you put the time in here. Pictures and links and fun things. Good job. Great Job actually. I like your tripod site if I haven�t said it before.
Extras Score: 9/10
LINK: Yep, the link is there, and it works fine
Link Score: 5/5
CONTACT: notes, email, guestbook, guestmap. Bingo. You hit the Gump jackpot. .
Contact Score: 5/5
TOTAL SCORE: I liked this diary, but to the reader make sure you check the cast page first. Its important to make sure you know the people she is talking about, because she talks very freely about them and to them. It�s a good read and she has an interesting life. I would have liked to see more insight and emotion, but it�s a good read nonetheless. 79/100.
Extra:
Favorite Entry: Great Entry Like I said. This was the best.
Favorite Quote: " i don't know if i have talked about the new cook at work. he is very good looking. and also an awesome cook. his name is mike, but everyone now calls him mooky. (we already had a cook named mike.) anyway. mooky worked there a while ago. and then he left for a couple of years and came back. when he was there the first time their was a girl working named sarah. now- sarah did shit and everyone hated her. but mooky and sarah were dating. then they split up and he was with denise for a little bit. (another waitress) and then he left. when he came back he started dating tiffany. now, tiffany was a good girl- she worked hard and showed up all the time. i couldn't stand her but she did her job..� Its long but I really liked the way it flowed. Good and funny. Its also kinda bitchy, which is an element of your profile which I wanted to see more.
Comments: I liked it. I would love to talk to you about any questions you may or may not have. I am always open to questions or comments. Thanks. I also believe you can get re-reviewed if this doesn�t please you, so let me know.
Reviewed by Gumphood