CONTENT: This is the diary of a woman in her early twenties. I read the whole thing. This diary began as a project to express the darker side of her thoughts, and the darker side of her beliefs. It changed, and lost that tone, but remained a solid piece of writing. There are poems and expressive entries, but the main focus of the diary is the relationship between her and her boyfriend (now ex) and her views of the human culture.
Her views of the human culture are an environmental, natural viewpoint. It made them different than most religious or nihilistic viewpoints. This made for an interesting and unique voice in the diary like here where she talks about human nature. The entry is good and insightful, but remains also dark and distinctive.
However I am a character reviewer. I think that most diary content quality comes from the heart of the person. Her most interesting passages come with her tumultuous relationship with her (ex) boyfriend. In this entry, she cuts into reason why she dislikes him. Over the course of the diary, she depicts him as being a shallow empty person, who feeds her lip service. He claims to invest real emotion and real time into her, but she finds that in situations where she actually needs his care, he does not. He is an insecure person who she feels happier without. Now this is the picture she paints, and paints well. She cares for him, and doesn�t want to hurt him, but nonetheless cannot be with him.
The arc of the story is great. Its stuffed full of entertainment and ties up loose ends but remains a wonderful, entertaining read. She describes things very well and keeps a nice tone throughout the journal. Also is an entry that describes the pain that he put your through and defines the relationship. I really felt your pain, and your suffering. I also feel that your poetry that fit in the framework of your diary very well. It wasn�t bad poetry either, like most on the Internet.
I guess criticism would be that you only did show one side of you and I think that I would like the other side better. I think that you are happy and that you are a really good person, and you started to slip into that later in your entries. I think if you just keep focus on the story you are presenting you could have a really great diary here and a really great work that you could treasure. I have not dealt with a locked diary before, so I guess my best advice is that you are already writing for you. So don�t listen to me and keep your style and your voice. I think that you are happy with how it�s turning out, and I am surprise that you asked someone to review it. Since it is just yours. But nonetheless�
Content Score: 38/40
LAYOUT: You have two layouts. One matched the tone much better than the other. I will grade both and average the score. Also I think that you should be aware if you just go back and edit the entries and then change nothing but save them you would have the new layout on all the old entries.
Layout 1: This is the woman with the trees on her back. It�s my favored layout, because I think that its darkness reflects the diary�s darkness. I would have stuck with this one.
Layout 2: This layout I wasn�t really clear about. It�s kinda of fun and exciting, but at the same time give the tone of anime that has lots of different connotations. I also wasn�t a huge fan of the quote. There is nothing wrong with it, but I didn�t think that it fit.
Layout Score:15/20
EMOTIONS: My favorite entry was the one where you seemed really happy and alive. I feel it was a great finish. The entry showed both the ending of the relationship and the happiness you experience from it. You illustrate emotions well, between dark deep ones, happiness, loneliness, suffering, indecision, frustration, and reverse insanity. I really did also like your entry about the world not being crazy, but in fact it was you. Cleverness. Perhaps you could open up more about your family. Or let the reader get to know you better.
Emotions Score: 18/20
EXTRAS: This is my problem. It�s your freakin locked diary. Why would you have extras for yourself? You wouldn�t. And you really don�t. What I will do is state that this isn�t a diary of extras, its of emotions and a developing woman. Not about links. I will �award� you points for locking your diary.
Extras Score: 5/10
LINK: Yep, the link is there, and it works fine
Link Score: 5/5
CONTACT: notes, email, guestbook. No guestmap. Well, no guests really because its locked. � I hate this part of grading you. Please understand.
Contact Score: 3/5
TOTAL SCORE: I really like the diary. The total score doesn�t reflect how good it was. This is because it�s a locked diary and doesn�t need all the extra things to introduce you into it. She could use some, but for the most part it doesn�t need tons of contacts and info, if no one reads it. This diary is clear and well written. I would highly recommend it to be read. It�s not a bells and whistles site, but it content makes up for that. I would recommend asking for the password because so many special locked diaries are missed, and this one is a gem. 83/100.
Extra:
Favorite Entry: Great Entry Like I said. This was the best. I can�t wait to see what�s next.
Favorite Quote: " Oh Starburst candies�I can�t stay mad at you.� Its totally unlike the diary but it made me very happy and it was very honest and funny.
Comments: This is the only thing that bothered me. At one point you talked about the scar on your leg that you caused by stabbing yourself in the leg. This didn�t sit well with me, because it didn�t sound like something the you would do or that a girl would do. It sounded like something a guy would do. It made me wonder for a few entries about your gender, and maybe it�s just me but it didn�t seem to fit. Perhaps you should clear that up. I think that sounds really weird, but I just wanted to point it out. You diary rocks. Please contact me with comments or questions. I mean that. I love to answer or hear what you think.
Reviewed by Gumphood